I Love Being a Drummer
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Why didn't the little drummer boy get into heaven?
Because he woke the baby for Christ's sake!
--
from the Drummers Dictionary:
Accelerando, n. drum fill; solo
--
What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
Gifted.
--
Why to bands need Roadies?
To translate what the drummer says.
--
Two drummers walk into a bar...
which is funny because you would have figured the second one would have seen the first guy do it.
--
A new customer walks into the new store on the block that sells brains. There are three glass cases, each containing a nice wet quivering grey brain. The first one says "Astrophysicist", and it costs $10. The second says "Avon Salesman" and costs $1000. The third says "Drummer" and costs $10,000. The customer is confused, and questions the salesperson.
"I don't get it...why would I want a drummer's brain for $10,000 when I can get an astrophysicists' for $10?".
The salesman replies, "Because it's never been used."
--
Q: What do you call a Drummer driving a Volkswagon?
A: Farfromthinken
--
Q: What's the difference between a drum machine and a drummer?
A: You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once!
--
Q: What does a drummer use for contraception?
A: His personality!
--
Two girls are walking along when they hear...
"Psst! Down here!"
They both look down and see a frog sitting beside the road. The frog says to them, "Hey, if you kiss me I'll turn into a world famous drummer and make you both rich and famous!" The two girls looked at each other, and one of them reached down and grabbed the frog and stuffed it in her pocket.
The other girl said, "What did you do that for?"
The first replied, "I'm not stupid. I know a talking frog is worth heaps more than a famous drummer any day!!!"
--
What do Ginger Baker and 7-11 coffee have in common?
They both suck without Cream.
--
Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, so long as a roadie gets the ladder, sets it up and puts the bulb in the socket for him.
--
A drummer, tired from being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn how to play some "real" musical instruments. He goes to a music store, walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says "I'll take that red trumpet over there and that accordian."
The store clerk looks at him a bit funny, and replies "OK, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator's got to stay".
--
Q: What's the best way to confuse a drummer?
A: Put a sheet of music in front of him.
--
I wish I were good enough to come up with these on my own, but I borrowed them from http://www.cse.ogi.edu/Drum/jokes.html. I'll hyperlink that later. Phew it's hot in here.
Because he woke the baby for Christ's sake!
--
from the Drummers Dictionary:
Accelerando, n. drum fill; solo
--
What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
Gifted.
--
Why to bands need Roadies?
To translate what the drummer says.
--
Two drummers walk into a bar...
which is funny because you would have figured the second one would have seen the first guy do it.
--
A new customer walks into the new store on the block that sells brains. There are three glass cases, each containing a nice wet quivering grey brain. The first one says "Astrophysicist", and it costs $10. The second says "Avon Salesman" and costs $1000. The third says "Drummer" and costs $10,000. The customer is confused, and questions the salesperson.
"I don't get it...why would I want a drummer's brain for $10,000 when I can get an astrophysicists' for $10?".
The salesman replies, "Because it's never been used."
--
Q: What do you call a Drummer driving a Volkswagon?
A: Farfromthinken
--
Q: What's the difference between a drum machine and a drummer?
A: You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once!
--
Q: What does a drummer use for contraception?
A: His personality!
--
Two girls are walking along when they hear...
"Psst! Down here!"
They both look down and see a frog sitting beside the road. The frog says to them, "Hey, if you kiss me I'll turn into a world famous drummer and make you both rich and famous!" The two girls looked at each other, and one of them reached down and grabbed the frog and stuffed it in her pocket.
The other girl said, "What did you do that for?"
The first replied, "I'm not stupid. I know a talking frog is worth heaps more than a famous drummer any day!!!"
--
What do Ginger Baker and 7-11 coffee have in common?
They both suck without Cream.
--
Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, so long as a roadie gets the ladder, sets it up and puts the bulb in the socket for him.
--
A drummer, tired from being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn how to play some "real" musical instruments. He goes to a music store, walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says "I'll take that red trumpet over there and that accordian."
The store clerk looks at him a bit funny, and replies "OK, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator's got to stay".
--
Q: What's the best way to confuse a drummer?
A: Put a sheet of music in front of him.
--
I wish I were good enough to come up with these on my own, but I borrowed them from http://www.cse.ogi.edu/Drum/jokes.html. I'll hyperlink that later. Phew it's hot in here.