where ranDOMness is key...

Such is the Fickle Heart

Thursday, May 03, 2007
Looks like you finally made it
Caught up with the light skips?
Once burning yet the cool evening has a way
Of changing things

Some days I feel as though I'm missed something
Lost something that was promised to me
But who knows, it's only some days

And now all this is happening
To both of us
Although it seems the shoe has switched and it is I
who is now dragging my feet

Do you believe it possible for me to ever be happy?
Would that be an oxymoron?

I will remain just as I have, putting one foot in front of the other
You should remain just as you have, an enigma
And enigma for a different man

I have my own adventures to chronicle
And my own mysteries to solve
Such beautiful, full of life, mysteries
Come find me, as soon as you're free

Love is an interesting thing
Damn this fickle heart

Restore Me

Tuesday, January 16, 2007
On the outside
You think I'm alright
There's a smile on my face
Everything's okay
But on the inside there's a different story
I've stumbled down this road
And I've got so for the go
I'm a broken man
On my knees again
Longing for a touch from you
I need you hand to

Restore me
I need your mercy
Take me
To the place I used to be
Use all the pain and the hurt
To do a greater work and
Restore me

I wore my mask
Running away from my past
Hiding all my scars
Thinking I'd gone too far
But he knew my pain
And He loved me just the same
He promised I'd be free
If I fell on my knees and cried


Restore unto me the joy of my salvation
So I'll sing again the song you wrote for me
Give me a clean heart I want a brand new start
Like the moment when I first believed


Anthony Evans Lyrics

Good bye, Good bye

Monday, January 08, 2007
So long, farewell, thanks for all the fish, hope to see you soon....this means we have to actually start e-mail each other and talking on the phone...like normal people. right...? Later days

The Last Post

Thursday, December 28, 2006
If it were possible to have a lone trumpetter play the 'Remembrance Day' tune, it may very well be appropriate. Traditionally, it comes immediately after a moment of silence, a silence spent remembering and honouring those lost of a battle.

This Last Post comes before a silence--perhaps a silence lasting longer than a moment. This Last Post signifies a last chance. So really, it's not quite a last post, but the signal of last posts. But what last chance is this? It's a last chance to all ranDOMinion writers, long-time readers to offer their last input.

I am opening ranDOMinion to anyone who wants to say anything. Ask for an invite and I'll grant you a pass.

What will you write? I don't know. But it's your last chance.

Merry Christmas, all. Happy New Year.

For now, we let the sound of a single trumpet resonate into utter silence.


Tuesday, December 12, 2006
so right now i'm listening to Frank Klepacki. man this music brings back tons of vague memories. i remember building walls and tanks and putting explosive devices on german shepherds to this groovy music. it's kind of like the Alien Youth cd in my first year. i lost a couple constructors to that one.

if you don't know what i'm talking about, then look up "all your base are belong to us" and you'll have a general idea . . . well, maybe.


Saturday, December 02, 2006
It occured to me earlier today that I am doing something rather significant.

See, any unfortunate chap who has to go to school must learn Canadian history. Unless you're the type of unfortunate chap who studies French Canadian history, you might miss out on the countless battles fought between "Canada-Haut" and "Canada-Bas", the English and the French of Canada's early 1800's.

End of the long story: English conquer, but unlike any conquering as before, the French are allowed to keep their way of life...? How odd.

In any case, today, the French fight like cornered dogs to preserve their culture, their way of life, their language. Some of them are so persistent about who they are and their background that they insist on severing themselves from the Confederation. How unfortunate that some would be so inclined.

But it was this thought that occured to me: that I, in contact with any number of said individuals daily, play a small but perhaps relevant part in the bridging of a cultural gap. They come to me with a problem, and with a smile on my face and a burden on my mind, I am able to help them, in their own language. An anglophone, making the effort. They're all very pleasent, even the angry ones, when they're done with me on the phone, tell me, "You're quite nice" and "I thank you very, very much"--even the ones to whom I have to tell them that I can't help them.

They're growing on me, these strange people. Speaking to them in their language makes me feel like "them" become "us"--it makes me proud to be a Canadian. We are diversified, but we are together.


Friday, December 01, 2006
This is a two line post.

You may now comment.

Darkness is not the Issue

Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Ever try to remove darkness? Take a piece of darkness and remove it, displace it, move it's location. What is left behind? Does darkness leave behind an absence, a by-product? Does it leave behind more darkness?

Perhaps some of us know better: darkness is simply the absence of light.

How can we remove an absence? If there is nothing, how can we move it? We should probably ask more accurately, "How can we move not it" since that's what darkness is: it isn't.

If it is an absence, can we run away from it? Towards a source of life, sure. But if not towards light, then to another absence? The same absence? Is there a difference between one absence and another, or are they all the same; are they all the same not. I believe it to be so--How can we classify, how can we name something that isn't--it can't have a name if it doesn't exist.

Is the presence of darkness--which is actually quite an impossibility--simply a symptom, an indicator of a grander situation, of an absence of something that is normally there? Then, if it is an indication, is the presence of light normal, and the absence thereof abnormal?

It's odd that we would rather focus on the sympton, we would focus on the absence rather than the presence. We would rather move ourselves to another darkness than to move ourselves to the light. We would rather try to give up our darknesses instead of inviting the light.

I heard a pastor say, "This week, I challenge you to pray about one thing, one thing that is causing you trouble in coming to relationship with your Lord". Complete crock, it is. How can we give up that which does not physically exist? This trouble that keeps us away from Christ, away from the light, this darkness which blinds us to the mercy and grandeur of our Saviour, how can we give it up?

Perhaps God often has this perspective: that sin, evil, these kinds of things are simply the absence of Himeslf, and if he was only invited everywhere that these things would simply not exist. It must be a matter of nature for Him--and by principle should be for us too.

See, the only way to treat darkness is to invite the light. Not treating the darkness... There is nothing in the way of me and my Lord except my will to go there, to the Light. Don't ask me to do the impossible, I can't remove this darkness--I can't delete it, I can't replace it, I can't do anything to this absence of light. I can only move closer to the Light.

wowzers in my trowzersz?

Wednesday, November 22, 2006
wow i haven't been here for such a long time. the last thing i posted was something about a bwap . . . hehehe . . . lame. anyways, i decided to not be as distracted from life anymore. you see, i was playing this online game that was really neato, but now the FBI have caused many servers to shut down. there are others i can go to but i really don't wanna. i'm pretty bored of it now. also, i decided that i will take up archery. i have a good idea of what i want in a bow now, so i'm just working myself up to shelling out for a really good one that i won't want to upgrade anytime soon. i guess i'm doing ok. i'm not that happy but things could be worse. things can always be worse just as they can always be better. i'm not content with where i am in life. i don't really know what content is like anymore. i feel like i'm waiting for something big to happen, but i don't know what. i think about making things happen but that has never worked out for me as far as i can recollect. it's as though i'm floating in the middle of the ocean on large rolling waves and i can't even tell if i'm drifting. the things i dream about seem impossible and i am forever fighting in my mind to stay grounded, yet i still find myself wanting to just be elsewhere. maybe going home for christmas will be a very healthy getaway from everything where i am now. it is still a few weeks away but it will come and go just as fast as the rest of my life when i look back. i'm struggling not to make this blog too long but at the same time i have to battle myself to care. so i'm blogging about blogging. go figure, eh? ah well, i hope all of you guys are doing very well.

God bless,



Friday, November 10, 2006

so apparently i'm great but i don't say anything... well... i guess i can live with that... :)

random adventure! face and me are in the bush doing our tromping around thing when it started to rain... and wind... and rain and rain rain... so we went up this mountain... in the rain... and the we went down the mountain... which was a little tricky... because there was these couple cliffs... mmmm... never want to do THAT again... oh! the best part! we got to the road through the scenic route... and we had to wait for the chopper for about an hour... so to get out of the rain me and face camped out in this random rusty culvert... it was cold and round and metal but it was home... i was soaked to the bone and i was cold and almost miserable... almost... but i felt at home in that rusty cold environment... odd. what is home? what makes a home? odd.