I am not a guy who is easily afraid. Sure, you can creep up behind me and spook me, but that doesn't make me afraid, just spooked. I like to jump into messy situations head first, where most people may stand and hesitate.

God has called me into a life of servitude for Him. This means I need to educate, equip and prepare myself for a life of loving, a life of serving, a life of praying. I've seen in the last two years at Summit that this future is specific to ministry, so I know I haven't wasted my time, nor will I in the future.

But in being prepared for ministry, it is sad to see that in a profession that makes little (or no) money that the eduaction prerequiring is so expensive, especially if you are to make yourself mobile, it's incredibly inconvenient, or even shackling to have debt. A missionary with debt plants his feet in cement.

With this in mind, I believe it to be responsible, of time and money, to take a year off of school at Summit.

But I'm scared like hell... I'm afraid to lose friends, lose years, fall behind. I hold on to this false sense of belonging, one that is dependant on scholastic status, because that is what is common to us all; remove it and what have we? Truth is, I need to get over this inhibition that tells me I'm going to fail at life if I do anything different than what I've chosen to do so far.

Something I need from you, my friends: support. I need your continued friendship, your prayers, your accountability. In the past, I've made the mistake of ignoring my friends, and it's part of the reason I stand where I am today, making this decision.

Now I need to find a job that will provide the pay and the hours to support this one-year mission.