Sometimes, we don't do what we want to do, so that nobody will know we want to do them.

This has been an anchor point for some thoughts I have had lately. Last year, it was easy to hide behind being tired and cranky, so as to avoid having to open up to people, letting them know my inner workings.

This year, I have no work to hide behind. In fact, I am finding myself far too transparent for my liking, and I find myself actively doublethinking the things that I do so that I am not exposed. Sometimes it even comes down to limiting contact, so as not to be exposed.

There are things that I do not do, so that nobody will know that I want to do them.

Trust issues? Esteem issues? Social complex?

I don't know, but I do like my bubble to myself, and the people around me at arms length.