On a dreary night, one not for the faint of heart, there sailed a man and a woman. Their raft, recently crafted of the finest smelling pines of the British Columbian forests lay before them in its constructed glory. They pushed off of the shore and waved good bye.

"Finally, we can have the peace we were looking for," they said to each other.

Slowly but surely, the shore faded off into the distance, and they drifted out to sea. It wasn't long before they discovered their boredom, and that it would take some time for Coast Guards to come and rescue them, and so, The Dave was conceived, in international waters...

During The Dave's adolesence, there is only one story worth noting--six times that is, since that is the number of its occurance. See, The Dave is a cultured fellow. Some say he was even raised by a pack of gorillas, but as to how a pack of gorillas inhabited the forests of northernish BC, no one knows.

The one story is this: on a sunny afternoon, it is known that The Dave is proportionaly large and hairy as to appear like a bear. Perhaps it is the particular angle of the sunlight that projects such an image. One particular day (six times), The Dave had been caught walking in between a bear and its cub; a forestry no-no. When the bear and The Dave fought, the bear managed to put The Dave in a bear hug, but The Dave, being the resourceful, young lad he is, chomped down hard on the bear's neck, piercing its jugular and bleeding it to death.

It is this story, reported by dim-witted TV news anchor that landed then simply, "Dave", his new name, "The Dave" by which we all know and love him. This particular news anchoress, (we will call M. Buck...wait, that's too obvious, maybe Melissa B.) was quoted saying, "That's when The Dave bit bear... Uhh, I mean that's when Dave bit the bear".

Today, this mythical creature can be found slicing ice cream boxes and microwaving hampsters, but never without a headset--plastered by time--to his head.