<$BlogRSDUrl$>
ranDOMinion
where ranDOMness is key...

The Ongoing History of The Dave

Friday, June 30, 2006
On a dreary night, one not for the faint of heart, there sailed a man and a woman. Their raft, recently crafted of the finest smelling pines of the British Columbian forests lay before them in its constructed glory. They pushed off of the shore and waved good bye.

"Finally, we can have the peace we were looking for," they said to each other.

Slowly but surely, the shore faded off into the distance, and they drifted out to sea. It wasn't long before they discovered their boredom, and that it would take some time for Coast Guards to come and rescue them, and so, The Dave was conceived, in international waters...

During The Dave's adolesence, there is only one story worth noting--six times that is, since that is the number of its occurance. See, The Dave is a cultured fellow. Some say he was even raised by a pack of gorillas, but as to how a pack of gorillas inhabited the forests of northernish BC, no one knows.

The one story is this: on a sunny afternoon, it is known that The Dave is proportionaly large and hairy as to appear like a bear. Perhaps it is the particular angle of the sunlight that projects such an image. One particular day (six times), The Dave had been caught walking in between a bear and its cub; a forestry no-no. When the bear and The Dave fought, the bear managed to put The Dave in a bear hug, but The Dave, being the resourceful, young lad he is, chomped down hard on the bear's neck, piercing its jugular and bleeding it to death.

It is this story, reported by dim-witted TV news anchor that landed then simply, "Dave", his new name, "The Dave" by which we all know and love him. This particular news anchoress, (we will call M. Buck...wait, that's too obvious, maybe Melissa B.) was quoted saying, "That's when The Dave bit bear... Uhh, I mean that's when Dave bit the bear".

Today, this mythical creature can be found slicing ice cream boxes and microwaving hampsters, but never without a headset--plastered by time--to his head.

The Mowing

Thursday, June 29, 2006
Every once in a while, there is a strange storm that comes about our fort. We know it's coming when the grass around us is tall. We can hear it off in the distance as it approaches, but since it happens generationally, many forget to expect it, and even fewer prepare for its arrival.

Too many of us will be out and about, working for the greater good of the commune, when it hits. We'll scurry around when winds like blades of metal cut down our home, trying to protect our unborn young. They are our future. At the same time, the queen will recess to the bottomest depths that we have dug.

How do I know of it, you ask? I, like my father before me, and his father before him, are the Storm Watchers. Our family, generations ago, was selected to record and pass on information regarding this particular storm phenominon. However, since the selection is long forgotten amongst the others of the commune, they believe neither that we were selected for such a task, nor that such a storm exists.

We call it "The Mowing". It is due to the fact that all of our surroundings, our home, our environment, all of it is clear cut, it is all mowed down to a dramatically shorter height.

All of this is said to preface this: as my profession requires this of me, it is with the evidence of the observation of long grass and the absence of the Mowing for two whole complete generations, that it is my prediction that such a storm will pass through this area tomorrow.

We will suffer great losses.

Coldplay - Til Kingdom Come

Monday, June 26, 2006
Steal my heart and hold my tongue.
I feel my time, my time has come.
Let me in, unlock the door.
I've never felt this way before.

The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummer begins to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know which way I've come.

Hold my hand inside your hands,
I need someone who understands.
I need someone, someone who hears,
For you, I've waited all these years.

For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come.
Until my day, my day is done.
And say you'll come, and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.

In your tears and in your blood,
In your fire and in your flood,
I hear you laugh, I heard you say,
"I wouldn't change a single thing."

The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummers begin to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know what I've become.

For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come,
Until my days, my days are done.
Say you'll come and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.